I would say it’s not a good idea to get into sex early. Though when you are young you may feel ‘why not,’ I would say it makes a lot of difference. If you bring sexuality into your life as a casual thing where you do it with just about anybody, you are losing out completely on a very beautiful aspect of your life; and if you really look at it carefully, it’s never casual. There are a whole lot of things involved. It is just that it becomes an irresponsible act without any kind of concern for the other person.
It is important to understand what it means to involve another human being in intimacy. Intimacy is something that must have a certain sanctity, whether it’s mental, physical, emotional or energy intimacy. Otherwise, it just becomes exploitation. ‘You use me for your purpose, I use you for my purpose’ – it’s endless exploitation. When I say exploitation, I am not talking about rape. Let me get at this directly. Initially people may say ‘I don’t care, I’m not looking for intimacy,’ but they do care because it gets into the deeper core of their lives. Would you like to be sexually intimate with someone who has no kind of feeling towards you and who is just thinking, ‘Okay tomorrow whom shall I look for?’ Would you really get any kind of true pleasure out of it? You might as well buy yourself a sex toy because with a human being comes problems.
Nowadays people are very proudly saying boyfriends and girlfriends come with an expiry date. They have already decided “I will hold him or her for six months and then I’ll find someone new.” There is a terrible sense of insecurity in these relationships. America is an insecure country simply because of their so called sexual freedom; there is no emotional stability in their life. I wouldn’t say this for every human being but a large percentage of people can’t trust their spouses anymore. This creates an enormous amount of emotional distress and instability in their lives. This has entered that culture in a big way. Once that happens, in a way that culture is slowly going down. People will not stand up and do anything with confidence when the person standing by them is a doubtful character. This is happening to Americans in a big way and it will tell on the well-being of that nation.
So it is very important to understand that this intimacy should not happen without a certain sense of sanctity. There should be some sense of love, involvement and commitment towards each other before you indulge in such intimacy. Do you at least have some feeling, some sense of love and involvement with that person or are you just going about it like it’s a handshake? A handshake is a very casual thing. Sexuality is much more intimate; much more of you is involved in it. Even if a certain intimacy has developed between two people, still it is best that they maintain an emotional and intellectual relationship with each other and not get into sexual activity until they are of a certain age and a certain level of stability where they can commit their lives to each other.
At the same time, when there is a physical drive, simply saying “don’t do it” will not solve the problem. Human societies have to evolve and bring forth the necessary understanding and different levels of experience for a youth. This is why in the tradition of this country, at the age of 12, the child was initiated into a spiritual process. So for such children, sexuality was not a big problem because they were involved in something much deeper; and they got married only after they attained a certain level of mastery over what they were doing. That is a very conscious way of moving into sexuality.