As families change and relationships evolve, Raksha Bandhan is finding new meaning in chosen bonds, long-distance siblinghood, and even unexpected companions
VINIKA VISWAMBHARAN
Raksha Bandhan, which falls on August 28 this year, has traditionally been associated with a sister tying a rakhi around her brother’s wrist, followed by sweets, gifts and a family gathering. But as relationships and families change, the festival is also finding new expressions.
A second-year MA English student Rakshita Mulay from Canacona grew up as a single child, watching other children receive gifts from their brothers and longing for a similar bond. Her mother, however, gave her a different perspective on Raksha Bandhan.
“She used to tell me it is not about gifts, it is about protection,” recalls Mulay. Each year, her mother would bring her a rakhi to place before Lord Ganesha, symbolising protection and brotherhood. As she grew older, Mulay began to see the festival as a bond that could extend beyond biological relationships.
That became personal when she formed a brother-sister bond with Shadab Mallik, whom she met through mutual friends. Mallik began calling her his sister, and though they come from different religious backgrounds, they began celebrating Raksha Bandhan together.
“I was very dicey about celebrating the festival with him as I didn’t know how he would react,” says Mulay. His response eased her hesitation when he himself suggested that she tie him a rakhi. “It made me realise that it is not only restricted to a particular culture,” she says.
Mallik, she says, is someone she can rely on in difficult situations. “He’s like an elder brother to me now,” she says.
That idea of Raksha Bandhan evolving with changing family structures is also reflected in the experience of Usha Priolkar, a 54-year-old medical practitioner from Ponda. Growing up in a Mangalorean Konkani household, Priolkar says Raksha Bandhan was not part of their childhoodtraditions.
Later, television introduced her and her brother to the festival, and they began celebrating it. “Since rakhis were not as readily available in shops at the time, my classmates and I would make handmade rakhis,” she recalls.
The gifts, meanwhile, have remained simple. “We usually exchange sweets and chocolates,” says Priolkar. As the siblings grew older, married and had children of their own, the occasion gradually became a larger family gathering.
Distance has also changed the way some siblings mark the day. Rohan Naik, 52, from Mapusa, has a sister living in Delhi, and meeting in person every Raksha Bandhan is no longer practical. Instead, the siblings exchange wishlists and order gifts for one another.
“When we were younger, it was about tying the rakhi and sitting together, having sweets and getting a gift. Now we send each other what we actually want,” he says. The physical ritual may have changed, but the intention remains. “We know each other’s choices very well. Sometimes the gift is something small, but it is still nice to know that your sister has thought about you.”
Sometimes, the bond celebrated on Raksha Bandhan extends beyond people. When Ponda resident Veera Bish’s brother was away for work during the festival, she began tying rakhis to two neighbourhood dogs, Tommy and Joy. “I started putting rakhis on them ironically at first, as I would send the pictures to my brother for a giggle,” she says. What began as a way of marking his absence eventually became a tradition.
“They always accompany me on my morning walks and come to greet me when I get back home,” says Bish. The ritual has since become her way of celebrating the companionship she shares with the two dogs.
Meanwhile, the changing nature of Raksha Bandhan is also visible in the way people approach gifting. Founder of Guirim-based EarthPoorna Foods, Sucheta Bhandare says customers are moving beyond conventional sweets. “There has definitely been a shift towards more thoughtful and meaningful gifting,” she says. Customers, she adds, are increasingly conscious of ingredients, packaging, and where the products
come from.
EarthPoorna’s Raksha Bandhan hampers brought together millet laddoos, a plantable seed rakhi, a greeting card and sustainable keepsakes. Bhandare says the story behind a gift can matter as much as the product itself. “People want the gift to feel personal and meaningful,” she says.
