Vinita Bicholkar
How do we approach our daily tasks? Is our routine born of necessity or out of love? Consider the choice to enjoy ice cream once a month; we often “eat clean” all month just to earn that treat. Self-love functions similarly: it is a high regard for one’s own well-being, happiness and mental health. This practice involves self-compassion, acceptance and the setting of healthy boundaries. It is a daily commitment to prioritising your physical and emotional needs while treating yourself with the same kindness you offer others.
Beyond the mirror
Self-love is not just what you see in the mirror. It is choosing yourself, even when everything around you pulls your attention elsewhere. While we are taught many things from birth, growth brings awareness and self-love is defined by what you do with that awareness. This journey is not taken in isolation; you need a support system of people who make you feel important and cherished as you are.
Without a supportive inner circle, negative labels regarding your appearance or character can be internalised before you even face the public, making it harder to recognise your own worth. Therefore, it is essential to build connections with emotionally intelligent people who lift you up.
Honoring your needs
Choosing yourself is an art to be practiced daily. When you are tired, rest, not simply to resume your tasks but because you truly love your body. We cannot depend solely on others for validation; your own beliefs about
yourself matter most.
Self-love does not “keep score”. On low-energy days, your act of self-love might be as simple as watching Netflix; on high-energy days, it may include finishing chores and catching up on “beauty sleep”. It also means respecting yourself enough to walk away from toxicity and journaling your thoughts to avoid spiraling.
Processing emotions
Staying in touch with your emotions is the best way to understand and act on your needs. For example, if you feel jealous that a friend obtained a concert ticket you wanted, do not suppress that feeling. Instead, acknowledge the jealousy, reason through your values and process the emotion healthily. The battle with yourself should end by choosing yourself exactly as you are.
Practical steps to start your journey
Every morning, look in the mirror and state one thing you love about yourself.
Dedicate 15 minutes every day to do whatever you like.
Once a month, take yourself on a “solo date”, such as visiting a coffee shop, to remind yourself that you have one life to live fully.
View boundaries as fences designed to protect your “home”.
Talk to yourself as you would a small child; your inner child needs your kindness most.
Before you turn to the world to spread kindness, ensure you have first “hugged” the person waiting for you in the mirror.
(The writer is a counselling psychologist)
