Original Konkani story:
Nirbhoi Nishpap
Author: Datta Shripad Naik
Translator: S.M. Borges
I recalled.When we came to the hospital, my father had been carrying me. While moving on the pavement outside the hospital, I noticed a man lying there. Wearing soiled, tattered shorts, he was sleeping with his mouth wide open. Flies were buzzing on his mouth and nose.
“Oh my God! It appears that this man is dead!” My mother screamed and closed her eyes. But I observed that man. He looked exactly like the donkey at the curve near Dadushet’s restaurant.
“The donkey singer is crooning.”
Perhaps because he was dead, his face looked so horrid. His mouth was open as if he was suffering great pain.
“Mama, they say that one cannot see a dead person. But I can see this dead man.” I said to my mother. Mama did not say anything, but she covered my eyes with her palm, to prevent me from seeing him.
Will this man turn into a ghost? Will he grow two long, fang-like teeth?
For no reason, I just remembered Asha.
While leaving house, I asked my mother. “Shall we take Asha along, Mama?”
But my father, who was standing nearby, said, “Let her be here. After you return, you could tell her about all the things you saw in Mumbai. Right now, you are ill. Aren’t you? After you get well, we shall take heralong with us too… next year.’
As we were leaving, Asha had tears in her eyes when she said to me, “Laloo! Get well and return fast. O.K.? I shall feel bored sitting here alone.”
I felt that whatever was happening was not proper. The other day, Asha’s uncle brought some sweet meats for her. She brought half of them for me, when nobody was around. Then I too gave her a spoonful of my sweet medicine. And now I alone had to go to Mumbai. This was not fair.
*******
In this hospital, there are many nurses wearing snow-white clothes, just like doves.
The other day, my Papa, Mama and a nurse were taking me to the doctor on a wheelchair. On the way, I saw many ladies nursing their cute little babies. The little mouths of these suckling babies reminded me of the sparrow’s nestlings back home. Their open mouths also appeared rose-pink. Some of them were placed in cage-like cradles.
“Mama, could I take one of these babies?” I asked my mother.
“Don’t worry. I shall give you one after you get well. OK?” Said the nurse who was pushing my wheelchair as she patted me on my back.
“You will give me one for sure?” I asked.
She smiled and said, “Certainly!”
I liked that nurse. Very charming. I decided that, once I get back home, I would show Ashuli this baby that I was going to get.
********
I saw that one eye of my doctor was blood red. It was swollen. His face resembled that of our neighbour’s cat. The doctor pulled my leg. Bent it. Raised it. Lowered it. Then he took a small hammer and hit it on my aching leg. The pain was terrible.
I screamed, “Mama!”
«What is the meaning of this? Such a big boy crying like a small baby?» The doctor joked and patted me on my back. He tried to raise my spirits. He examined the X-rays of my leg.
I said, “Doctor!”
“What is it my boy?” the doctor asked in response.
“Doctor, your eye is swollen; it is blood red. You must foment it with coriander potion. Whenever my eye gets swollen like yours, my mother does just that. And it works! No, Mama?” I asked my mother.
The doctor had a great laugh; he was in splits. But, while laughing, he gave me an anguished, melancholy sort of look.
Mama dabbed her eyes. Papa was looking out through the window.
When I was being wheeled back, I saw a commotion in one of the rooms.
“What is that, auntie?” I asked the nurse to whom, by now, I had begun to take a fancy.
“You know! A lady has given birth to four little babies. And these people are crowding to have a look at them.” The nurse explained.
“Mama, please show me those babies! Please let me see them.” I pleaded with my Mama as well as the nurse.
The nurse lifted me and took me akimbo. She carried me through the crowd into that room.
A lady was sleeping. The four tiny babies, whom she had given birth to, were lying side by side in a single cradle.
I was reminded of the neighbour’s doggie. To me the sleeping lady too seemed much like that doggie. Her wee little infants resembled the puppies. Among them was a very fair bambino.
“Auntie, may I carry that fair bambino?” I asked the nurse.
All the people there looked at me and began to laugh. I felt embarrassed.
“You must first get well. OK? Then I shall give you that bambino as a prize.” The nurse reassured me.
***********
This afternoon, I felt terrible, unbearable pains. I was in great agony. At that time, the nurse gave me an injection. And I dozed off.
When I was getting out of my slumber, I saw Mama sitting next to my bed and speaking to my father who was trying to console her.
“Somehow or the other, please save my Laloo. I shall not be able to live without him. Oh God! Lord Ganesha!- I vow to observe 108 Vinayakis. Please save my only son. You do know that the doctor has given him just fifteen days to live. After that, our Laloo will leave us…Let us take the opinion of another doctor.”Mama was sobbing. Papa was also wiping his eyes every now and then.
Oh dear! This means I am really going to die. Just as Ashuli had told?!
Just then Papa realised that my eyes were open.
“Laloo darling! Have you woken up? How do you feel now?” Papa asked me. Mama promptly dabbed her tears dry and came over to me. Poor Mama! I felt sorry seeing her eyes red from constant weeping.
“Laloo my darling! What will you have?” She asked me and… tears began to trickle down from her eyes.
I felt like asking Mama whether she wanted to fulfill my last wish as I was going to die. But I did not ask. Whenever I ask such questions, they hurt her very much. And I detest hurting her.
I said, “Mama, please fetch Ashuli for me. Please prepare sago hodge-podge for me. I shall share it with Asha.”
Mama and Papa began to weep like little children. And then— I began to cry too.
*********
Lying on the hospital bed, I keep thinking.
I miss Asha a great, great deal.
Should we not inform my Ashuli that I am going to die?
I have to tell her a few things. That I have hidden her doll in the corner of our house, just for the heck of teasing her. I have to ask her many things. How big have the sparrow’s nestlings grown? Is the eye of the cat better now? What happened to the dead donkey which was lying near Dadushet’s restaurant? I have to request her to take the snow-white puppy from our neighbour and
raise it.
I want to annoy her by giving sharp rap on her back saying, “Ashuli, Bishuli,Pishuli! Donkey! Buffalo!” And when, feeling hurt, she stands there silently with moist eyes, I want to kiss her cheek. Just one kiss!
Now…I feel like crying a lot.
( The end)
